I usually feel like banning everybody, TBH. I fucking hate this job. Like, I totally hate it. You can't even understand. Sometimes it makes me feel violent. I'm glad I'm stuck in my basement apartment or who knows what I would do.
They begin to regard their students as idiots, children, incompetents. They begin to loathe them not only for their immaturity, but even more intensely because they are dependent on that immaturity, that devotion, for their daily bread. They're trapped.
The explicit minimizations I can verbalize are grounded in countless somatic reflexes that have been trained into me. I believe that before gaslighting becomes an institutional strategy, it is a nervous response. A lot of the vibrant discussion out there focuses on changing behaviors, and that’s as it should be. I’m trying to see what drives the behavior.