The Wokespiracy Manifesto

The Wokespiracy Manifesto
We go by many names: Spiritpreneur, Life Coach, Gridworker, Transmuter, Singing Bowl Sacred Masculine Person, Conscious Filmaker, Shamanpreneur, doTerra Rep, Part-Time Reiki Healer, Yoga Teacher.
We are beyond labels and definitions. Our purpose is Singular. No one can deprive us of our undefined terms.
We will remain forever unregulated. Lightworkers can have no scope of practice. We govern ourselves — by shining.
In our Oneness we are post-political. The Light we know contains all skin colours and dissolves all propagandist divisions of North and South, rich and poor.
We honour Truth beyond left and right, beyond right and alt-right.
We will never be victims. Victimhood is a state of mind. Our minds are sovereign.
We will not live in fear. But there are many common things we pledge to be afraid of, and we pledge to warn others about them, incessantly.
All is One, and time is unified. There is a war coming, it’s already over, and we are in the midst of it.
We have saluted the sun in Tulum, Ubud, Rishikesh, the Burn, Wanderlust. We have found ourselves in workshops and trainings. In our Hearts we are all Indigenous. We have come home to everywhere, online, plant medicine in hand, to find each other.
The State has failed to educate us, so we have pledged to educate ourselves.
The State has failed to provide us with healthcare, so we have pledged to medicate ourselves.
We have remained open to all possibilities, and so we demand the State reopen.
We are not afraid of not-knowing. We have learned to abide in the certainty of not-knowing.
Despite this failed State, and to glorify its founding intentions, we have done our research, educated ourselves, and woken up to defy tyranny.
We pledge to tell others, very loudly, demonstrating for them the certainty they desperately crave, to do their research, educate themselves, and wake up to defy tyranny.
Truth! Truth!
We know there is no virus.
We know there is a virus, but it’s not the virus they’re telling you about.
We know that the real virus jumps from Chinese bats to sheeple through Big Pharma microchips.
We know that in the universal plan, at the time of the Reunion, we are the virus we’ve been waiting for.
We know that the virus is the vaccine.
We’re not “against vaccines”. We’re asking deep questions about the nature of consciousness, the future of history. And vaccines.
We know that medicine and science are personal belief systems. Therefore we strive to be the very best people.
We know there is nothing to fear but fear. We pledge to nurture our fear of fear with courage. To stay with it. The only way out is through.
We are not attached to these bodies, over which we assert sovereignty.
We are not afraid to die for the right to not be killed by “licensed” doctors.
We know the only real lockdown in this world is the lockdown of the heart.
We pledge to always look deeper, past the “words” on the page of the “peer-reviewed paper”, past the ink to the Paper Itself, its network of fibres, which looks like mycelium, which is how our mushrooms talk to each other and hold our fungal memory.
We are here to serve the revivification of Life, not the transhumanist agendas of technocrats. We don’t even know what that means, but we’re open to it.
We laud the doctors who have been discredited for “falsifying research”. We honour those who trained in “consensus reality” and then set out on their own Way. We know the bravery it takes to follow one’s Gut Flora.
All data is light in transformation. There is no need to investigate sources when we connect with Source.
Our Truth is encoded in our name: “Woke” begins with the double-YOU before the sound of the Holy Tree. “Spiracy” is the inspired breath that never needs a ventilator.
We pledge to use social media to resist the algorithms of social media.
We will not mask our original, shining, defiant face.
Our Slogans, Our Selves.

Applying “The Work” of Byron Katie to the Pandemic

Applying "The Work" of Byron Katie to the Pandemic

Here’s a short post in which I apply “The Work” of Byron Katie to some concrete thoughts that are disturbing me, as per her instructions on this worksheet, but also in this 2016 exchange in which Katie encourages a woman to say that she’s not afraid of the outcomes of a Trump presidency, but that she actually wants those outcomes.

Let’s see how this goes…


The Four Questions, Thought 1: I am afraid of contracting COVID-19 and dying or becoming disabled.

Q1. Is it true?


Q2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

Because I haven’t contracted COVID-19 and either died or become disabled, I can’t say for absolute sure that these are events that would be ultimately fearful. But this is a manipulative question, because it uses my own intellectual integrity against the feeling. It asks me to dominate my feeling with doubt.

Q3. How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?

I experience anxiety, a sense of meaninglessness, but also a sense of urgency with regard to connecting and relationship-building.

Q4. Who would I be without that thought?

A dissociative lump.

The Turnaround: “I’m looking forward to contracting COVID-19 so that I can die or be disabled.”


The Four Questions, Thought 2: “I am afraid that if I die I will leave my partner and children vulnerable.”

Q1. Is it true?


Q2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

Because I haven’t died and can’t absolutely say how my family would respond, it is possible that this fear is irrational. The manipulation and cruelty in this question is that it undermines my reasonable sense of empathy for my family members, while seeking to devalue my perception of my importance to them. The doubt here says: “Don’t trust the instinctual feelings of attachment that have been forged by intimacy and care.”

Q3. How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?

I think of my family members in grief and under stress and I feel it throughout my entire being.

Q4. Who would I be without that thought?

A nihilist.

The Turnaround: “I want to die so that I will leave my partner and children vulnerable.”


The Four Questions, Thought 3: “I am afraid that the pandemic will destabilize fragile human systems and cause enormous suffering, unequally borne by the poor.”

Q1. Is it true?


Q2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

Because the epidemiology is still being worked out, not even experts can determine the extent of the suffering to come. The gaslighting nature of this question is carried by it’s black-and-white setup. It’s not like the pandemic will or will not destabilize fragile human systems and cause enormous suffering, but the EXTENT to which it will do just that. In this case, responsible intellectual conservatism is weaponized against me in the attempt to invalidate the feeling.

Q3. How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought?

I’m filled with impotent rage at the scope of injustice. I feel intense shame at my complicity in systems of oppression. I feel deep survivor’s guilt.

Q4. Who would I be without that thought?

A banal privileged monster.

The Turnaround: “I’m looking forward to the pandemic destabilizing fragile human systems and causing enormous suffering, unequally borne by the poor.”



If you are a proponent of The Work, please let me know if I got any of this wrong. Thank you!


🤩🙏🤩 I’m SO excited about this UNIQUE and SACRED event at this PRESTIGIOUS London yoga studio! ⭐️🌟🔥😎💰💰💰

No hun — it’s ME who CAN’T WAIT to get on an airplane and fly ✈️💨✈️ to this glorious offering! The teacher is a 💎💎💎 top-level doTERRA Wellness Advocate💎💎💎, and the theme is 🕉️🕉️🕉️ THE YOGA SUTRAS 🕉️🕉️🕉️.

OMG. Like, my two FAVOURITE things. ✌️

To be clear: it doesn’t promise this in the ad copy for the event, but maybe that’s because this wisdom is so potent it has to be COVERT. Maybe the workshop is like a 🐴 TROJAN HORSE 🐴 for entering the doTERRA world!!!

All I can say is that I hope hope HOPE the veils will be removed and that this workshop will FINALLY unlock for me and the 🌎 WORLD 🌎the hidden link between 🙏 ancient yogic wisdom 🙏 and the power 💪👊💪 of essential oils. This podcast only WHETTED my APPETITE! I just know there are so many hidden connections in this content that can heal the traumatic wounds that separate us from the past, from mystery, from 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳Mother India 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳, and from each other!!!

The old 👴💀👴 patriarchal 👴💀👴yoga vision always told us that Patanjali instructed a retreat from social interactions, the renunciation of not only householding but sensuality 💃💃💃 itself, and that the whole point was to meditate until the organic world became meaningless and ultimately disappeared. Basically: sit still and do NOTHING until you die! ☠️☠️☠️ I hope that this teacher can show me that the 🔍🔍🔍 HIDDEN TRUTH 🔍🔍🔍 of the text, which NO ONE has really been ready for yet, is that Patanjali was really a FEMINIST VINYASA-FLOW TEACHER 😱😱😱 who understood the community-building POWER of multi-level marketing. 💰💰💰

It was only a few months ago that I saw that this teacher helps to spread the word about the doTERRA Yoga Collection. Check it out!

🧨🧨🧨”The body achieves what the mind believes.”🧨🧨🧨

Sing it! Truth to the MAX! It’s getting hot in here! 🔥🔥🔥 And just look at that box, with its EXQUISITE trio design, referring to the gunas, the doshas, or even the TRIDENT OF SHIVA 🔱🔱🔱!!!

So I’ve been using these oils according to the instructions on the sales page, and it’s been AMAZING. Here are the instructions:

The perfect yoga poses to pair with doTERRA Anchor’s aroma are Seated Meditation, Seated Twist, and Bhu Mudra (one hand on the heart, the other on the Earth).

Ideal yoga poses with doTERRA Align’s aroma are Warrior II, Triangle, and Gate pose.

Use doTERRA Arise while practicing the following yoga poses: standing arms high, standing side stretch, and Half Moon.

Pro-tip: what I’ve noticed is that when I do those exact poses with those exact oils smeared all over me, it’s JUST LIKE doing those poses while smelling different oils. It’s AMAZING. I’m SO grateful.🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

On a DEEPER level, I’ve always intuited (and intentioned) that essential oils continue the great Patanjali legacy of EXTRACTION. I mean, they take the ESSENCE of the plant life — so sattvic, so green, so blended and steeped — and distill it so that, like meditation, it can penetrate inward on SO many levels. 💉💉💉

I believe the TRUE NATURE of renunciation is fully revealed through multi-level marketing. For instance, if you start bringing your friends and yoga students into your downline, you’ll be letting go of all needless social attachments, without even thinking about it! 🤷🤷🤷 And financially, the system is so effective it makes the vast majority of sellers see through the basic delusion of expecting money for labour — when in reality all value is manifested. 🍄🍄🍄 This is an AMAZING lesson for the ego. 🤯🤯🤯

I’m all about the Ninth Limb, friends. 💰💰💰 ABUNDANCE 💰💰💰. It comes AFTER completing samadhi, which is just a little boring, TBH. 💤💤💤

The Ninth Limb allows you to observe with equanimity as your impermanent relationships disintegrate and your householding attachments go into foreclosure. Because, in your essence, you are NEVER indebted, to ANYTHING. You have no mortgage in the divine realm. 🏡🏡🏡

Plus if you totally get into the oils, like, really snort them HARD through breath of fire and other pranayamas — 😤😤😤 I hope to learn these in the workshop! 😤😤😤 — they are so potent that they will destroy your 👃👃👃 olfactory nerves 👃👃, and then you will have progressed on the path to sensory control. Bonus: I read somewhere that applying eucalyptus to your jade 🥚🥚🥚 egg 🥚🥚🥚will make you renounce all 💋 lust 💋, thus aiding the holy practice of 🙏 Brahmacharya 🙏. I know that’s mainly for women. But exclusion is so wrong! I put MY jade egg in my 🍑 BUM 🍑. I’ve started with the smaller size but plan to work my way up. It’s so NOURISHING to learn how to sit with discomfort. 🥴

Of course, everyone is at a different level in their personal JOURNEY. Some people find renouncing their friends and money too hard, and really need to hope in something. Luckily doTERRA provides. Do your children have autism? There’s an oil for that. Auntie has cancer? A little dab here and there, and to SANITIZE the IV needles. When facing Ebola, I believe that Doctors Without Borders should all be carrying On Guard starter packs, and they should be recruiting mothers in WAR ZONES into their downlines.

It’s true that the FDA warned doTERRA about some of these claims, but I know what’s true in my heart, AND in my diffuser. Yeah, whatever, FDA. Blah blah blah. F U Big Pharma!!! 🖕🖕🖕

Also there’s all this FAKE NEWS out there about doTERRA being some kind of PYRAMID SCHEME. LOL. They trot out TOTALLY BOGUS NUMBERS like how almost two MILLION doTERRA wellness advocates made ZERO in commissions.

What I totally hate about this hating is that it glosses over the POWER and STRENGTH of there being 2 MILLION wellness advocates working HARD at their DREAM of a 🌎 world 🌎 filled with aroma. 👃👃👃

And oh, as for all those stories about doTERRA wrecking havoc in people’s lives? Sorry — I’m not here for the sob-fest victim olympics, and NEITHER IS PATANJALI.

I hope to manifest through this workshop that the teacher will SHOW me how Patanjali’s third chapter on special yogic powers possibly contains coded messages on how to use essential oils to REALLY treat medical conditions at their SOURCE. But why stop there?

Seriously tho. I want a blend that will help me tolerate the unbearable venality of consumerism. I want an oil that will soothe my facial muscles when they get cramped up in my permanent fake smile I want an oil that will make me more resilient in the face of predatory marketing. I want an oil that will heal me from my yoga injuries, and make me forget that there are yoga cults. I want an oil I can sniff when I’m in the depths of climate despair. I want an oil that will sequester the carbon I will spew as I fly to this workshop.

Anyway, I’ve totally gone on long enough! It’s time for my mid-morning self-care RITUAL. That’s right: some ME time. I’m just gonna blend all the Yoga oils together and roll em on my orifices to bless the nine gateways 💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋 of my holy body temple. Patanjali says the human body is disgusting, so I hope that this workshop will provide an aspirational translation for sutra 2:40.

One last thing, dear TRIBE: I’m so overwhelmed with GRATITUDE that such a prestigious business is hosting this OFFERING. It’s truly a watershed that an elite yoga company is so open to this essential wisdom. They’re taking a real stand here. The BEST companies make their customers feel like they could all be in the upline 💰💰💰, and that’s the vibe I get. It’s also so cool that this is coming after the super-successful ♿ Accessible Yoga ♿ training they JUST hosted 👍. It fits right into the biz model to make this offering SO accessible at ONLY 700 pounds. But that’s post-Brexit, so who really knows what the actual cost will be. My belief is that money is only an illusion when you have ABUNDANCE. 💰💰💰